Re·gret...a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment.

 

Regret…we all feel this emotion. I didn’t think I would feel regret until I was old and grey, but here I am feeling regret. I love this sense of control and power I have. Being powerful makes you feel strong, like nothing can tear you down or stand in your way. You feel immune to everything. But I regret one small incident…the death of my beloved John Proctor.

I wish they hadn’t killed John. He was hung amongst the rest of the convicted. I can’t come to terms with the thought of it. John admitted that he committed adultery on Elizabeth, so he could save her. John did everything to save his measly little wife, including pushing me to the curb. I don’t regret leaving Elizabeth without a husband, but I do regret the death of John. I loved him, and within time I hoped he would love me, like he used too. I couldn’t stand being around Salem any longer. I knew Parris had money so I took it, and with that, I fled.

 There was a part of me that wanted to stay, I was so powerful and controlled the town. But I knew it would only be a matter of time, before my power ran out. As I saw the witch trails come to an end, I knew that everyone would try to repair their lives, try to make them to go back to normal. Me on the other hand, I had nowhere to go. I had my girls that had followed me, but I knew it was time to leave and move onto something new. I wanted to leave before I was shunned for my actions. I had seen what the accusations of my affair with John Proctor had done to the town, and to my name. So I fled and left Salem for Boston, it would be a new beginning. Boston didn’t know who Abigail Williams was…..but hopefully, eventually they would.

Power In Numbers

I always said the more the merrier. If you lead, others will follow, whether it is right or wrong. Everyone always follows the crowd, and if you’re lucky enough you may be the crowd leader. Being the leader, means you have all the power. Everything you say and do is what everyone else will say or do. Therefore the more people that follow you, means the more power you have. And people and power was exactly what I had.

I needed Elizabeth out of the picture, so I could continue my relationship with Proctor. It was quite simple, I knew that Mary Warren had a poppet, I controlled Mary Warren. I told Mary to place a pin in the poppet. Then at dinner I stabbed myself, and blamed Elizabeth for her witchcraft. I knew that the poppet would be enough proof to convict her.

When the trails began I was being questioned. Unfortunately you have to expect the unexpected at times, Mary Warren had testified against me. I knew what I had to do. I faked a cold wind coming from Mary Warren. I controlled Mary Warren and if she were to disobey my orders, then she had to pay for it. As I yelled and scream so did my fellow girls, it was perfect. Until John stepped in….

Stupid me though, I should have realized that John would try to help Mary and his wife…As he admitted to adultery I knew that our relationship was over, I couldn’t stand the thought. I did what I had to, and began to shout at Mary telling the court that she was sending a spirit towards me. Again the other girls followed, I knew that it was only a matter of time before Mary would come back to my side, she saw my power, she knew of my cabablilites. At that point she yelled at John calling him a devils man, she was helping me, Mary knew I was too powerful.   

Creating Power From The Fear Of Others

The emotion of fear is powerful, and when you strike fear in others you can create something called power. Fear comes from something that we don’t think we can overcome or beat. We fear those who challenge us or are more powerful than us. With fear, we can create a whole new system of life. If we instill fear, we can control others. And that was just my plan, to instill fear and gain power.

I knew it would be like taking candy from a baby, I just needed the right tactics. My cousin Betty was a foolish girl, and I knew with a little threatening she would do me well and follow whatever I said. And with that I had the beginning of my climb to the top. I had it planned for months, what I would say, what I would do…I just was waiting for the right time to act! When I got some girls to follow me, and do what I told them too, I knew I had begun to grow in power, and with my amazing threatening tactics the girls were scared silly…it was truly brilliant! I had done a spell in the woods with Tibitua, hoping that the witchcraft would kill Elizabeth. Elizabeth was the wife of my beloved John Proctor. Once my cousin had begun to fake ill, I knew I had to talk to John Proctor.

John Proctor and I were perfect together, whether he knew it or not. We had a chemistry that he and his stupid wife Elizabeth didn’t have. He loved me...not her!!

But don’t worry it was all part of my plan. When I talked to John Proctor I reminded him of our days together, and how he loved me, and the sin he had committed by loving me. The guilt he felt towards his shrewd wife was probably unbearable. I honestly don’t care though, as long as in the end we were together.

My plan was going so smoothly, until our maid, Tituba opened herself up and admitted who came with us to the devil. But not to worry, I knew just what to do. I told Hale I wanted to open myself and with that I knew Betty would follow my lead, she was under my power now. We began to list people that came to the top of our heads shouting about who we had seen with the devil. Guess what? They bought it, and my rise to power just continued to grow.